You really coming over, don't trick.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
