some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
