I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
