I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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