I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
