cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
