Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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