Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
