Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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