im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
