i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
