My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
