Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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