if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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