how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
