Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
