I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
