whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
