hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize