i just wanna soil my oats bro
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
