She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
