The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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