tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
