On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
