She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
