You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
