we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
