He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
