she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
