Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just made my gag reflex go away.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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