you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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