she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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