So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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