Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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