There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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