my sisters under your porch take her home
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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