Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
