she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize