You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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