we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
