so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
