im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
