I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize