maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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