so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
