Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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