i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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