If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
they need to just BURY HIM!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
