Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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