Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
