I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Betty ford says i'm here all night
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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