Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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