can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
