Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
