i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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