Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
