Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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