weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Your mouth is God's brothel.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
