Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
