dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
