who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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