is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
