True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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