She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize